He Never Called Out Her Name
In the rain, and in the sun For ten thousand nights In the rain and in the sun, “Shush.” He would say uncomfortably. She had loved him Yet, she loved him past broken dreams, It was going to be a hot summers’ day, He was warm. Tears flowed down the side of her face, filling her ears She had loved him in the rain and in the sun, Aldonna Kaulius-Barry
She had loved him.
Through all the days of blackened dreams,
Through promises unkept and broken,
Past days and nights longing for words unspoken,
She held his body tightly against her heart.
And in the blackness of the night,
As his warm breath whispered to her face,
And moonlight filled the darkened spaces
She gazed at the soft contentment
In the lines of his handsome face.
He slept deeply, fearlessly and peacefully.
She listening to the steady beating of his heart,
And in it’s rise and fall,
Wanted more than anything on earth
To have been loved openly, unashamedly,
With a spoken passion that existed only for her.
He never called out her name.
Not ever.
As if she was without.
Not in the most important moments of humanness,
Not in the smoldering intimacy reaching deep within her.
Through storms that resonated
Through every room of the house
Her voice rang out.
Through endless stories that she gifted him,
Her voice open, melodic, bold, and resonant,
Streamed like golden butterflies out through open windows,
Past flower beds groaning with English daisies and calendulas
And blue, purple, and pink delphinium,
Blowing softly in the summer winds.
“The neighbors can hear everything you are saying.”
Gazing out the windows past fields and trees
And faint purple hills lining the horizon,
And houses barely visible in the hazy distance,
She wondered why he silence her and all of her dreams.
Yet her voice was a familiar sound,
To all of nature humming and buzzing
Still at work at summer’s twilight.
To horses and cattle grazing knee deep
In green moist fields surrounding them.
Her clear vibrant voice lingered,
Past tall and gracious Catalpa trees,
So beautiful with their huge leaves fluttering in the warm winds
Against the backdrop of August skies.
Her voice rang out to wildlife
Gathered in the deepest shade,
At the side of the house where she often wrote,
Beneath flowering jasmines and honeysuckle,
And at the foot of peonies groaning with flower.
In whispering, small voices,
As they ate bits of greens and fallen blossoms,
Nodding and scuttling about.
In the frozen white of endless winters,
In wild and crazy love making under the starry Algonquin skies,
Through Christmas’s past and sunny holidays abroad.
She had loved him while waiting for a moment so vivid in her dreams,
That single moment when she was all and everything to him,
Against a world filled with chaos, betrayal, murder, injustice, jealousy, and deceit.
In a world where brothers and sisters no longer spoke in truths,
Nor lived unified in indivisible filial love.
She was to him in her expressive, vivid passion,
The embodiment of honour and dignity and faith and faithfulness.
He knew without acknowledgement,
That she was a jewel case filled to the brim.
A discovery he kept hidden even from her
Like the secret hide-a-way he once found in his youth
Deep in the captivating Muskoka bush.
And agonizing child birth,
Through life-changing events
That blow out the flame of faith for an instant.
She loved him through weddings and unlikely unions,
Through unexpected family deaths, betrayals
And anger that rose from freshly mounded cemetery earth.
She loved him through all that was life
And despite his soft, wordless way of speaking to her,
She waited patiently,
Waited to hear him call out her name.
And in the strange red glint of early dawn,
The air already moist and heavy with promise,
And in the stillness of planets,
A voice rang out like an ancient church bell --“Mary Anne!”
Another resonating gong in her dream -- “Mary Anne!”
Bolt upright, heart beating and looking about the room
She saw him fast asleep.
Nuzzling into his shoulder as the
Echo of her name hauntingly reverberating in her mind,
She took in a deep breath.
And in that moment forever frozen in time, she suddenly knew.
His eyes were closed and his lips where slightly parted and pursed
Where his last breath had left his body.
He was gone, carried away in has last dream.
She stared at him in disbelief.
Her hands began to tremble.
She screamed out his name again and again.
Embracing him with all of her strength
She began to rock him back and forth, back and forth.
After a long while she just laid down beside his naked body
For the very last time on this earth.
Blocking out the sounds of morning in the room
And flowing down the sides of her head,
Like a stream meandering through her thick hair,
Puddle at the nap of her neck.
Her eyes fell onto the brightly woven rug on the floor.
He carried the China rug on his strong tanned shoulders only last year,
Through endless, colourful, laughing crowds at the Exhibition
On a day so rich in laughter, holding hands,
Lining up for crazy rides, having so much fun.
In the frozen whiteness of endless winters,
In wild and crazy love making under the starry Algonquin skies,
Through Christmas’s past and sunny holidays abroad.
She had loved him and he had loved her to the brim,
With all that was in him in to return.